Margs (now almost four) would NOT stop farting the other evening when I was hanging out with her. Massive, noisy, lethal farts (the kind you can taste… in your mouth… long after the gas has been released…) I finally told her she needed to go to the bathroom. After a minute she comes back out.
Me: Did you poop?
Me: You didn’t?
Margs: No! There’s nothing in my butt!
Keef: I’m sorry I forgot the iPad on the roof of the car…
Me: Its ok, you do that shit ‘cuz of your ADHD, and you put up with my crazy, so I put up with yours.
Keef: Mine’s better.
Me: But I will make a disclaimer, which is that if you ever do that to any babies we might have someday I will not be so understanding….
Keef: (pause) Yeah I could totally see myself doing that…. Which is why our baby will be wearing a helmet at all times!
Jes-Jes: Does it look smokey in here?
Me: Meh, the windshield is too dirty to notice.
Jes-Jes: That’s a win.
It’s like she read my mind…! Truer words were never spoken.
–Parks and Recreation
-Andy Dwyer, Parks and Recreation
Margs is three now (!! I can’t believe it…). Now when she tells me storys/explains basic principles of the world to me, she can do it without just repeating two or three words over and over again.
Margs: I saw a ice sculptures! I saw a ice sculptures, they are at the lake. It’s frozen. I could show you! They’re just at the lake. At my beach! My beach is frozen. I can’t go to my beach, cuz it frozen. My snow is here! Wanna see it? It’s out a window, see? Woah…. that’s a lotta snow! You can’t step in it though. You can’t step in it cuz your foot goes down. Your foot goes down and make a hole. Your foot make a hole and… and your leg get cold.
Margs: (While we were “playing” the board game ‘Trouble’) You won! Nice job! It’s my turn now.”